Friday, May 20, 2011
Buggin'
I'm stressed. I'll probably hate myself for writing this later, but honestly, I don't want to pretend like our life equals roses and rainbows all the time. Sometimes life is hard. And sometimes I overreact and become anxious over nothing. But, I just don't like it that we had to spend $3000 (that we don't have) on maintenance on our van in the last year. I also don't like it that we are going to have to spend $750 more this weekend on yet another engine maintenance tune up. I don't like it that Dave's car heaved it's last sigh as it died two weeks ago, and that we had to buy another one. I don't like that Dave's Grandpa is bleeding internally and that Dave's mom, who is recovering from surgery herself, has so much to go through emotionally and physically as she cares for her father. I don't like that I feel like I work so hard but stay in the same place. I don't like it that I feel like a bad mom a lot of the time because I have little patience and not enough time to spend with my kids. I feel frustrated and overwhelmed. I'll make it through as I have umpteenth times in the past. But, right now I'm not going to pretend like I like any of it. This too shall pass.... Amber
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I can relate to the times of my life when life seemed that way! I had the best cutest kids, the most love I know some people don't know and yet stressed, burnt, and frustrated at times. I wish now that I would have stopped each time and lifted my hand to Christ's stripes and remember I am healed. It is not easy thanks for being a great daughter and raising such wonder grandgirls!
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone. I always try to remember what they said at the Weekend to Remember conference: "LIfe is so Hard because we expect it to be so Easy." It's helps me put it in perspective when I want to scream - "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????" (Which is usually about once a day!)
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